How do we show up for our kids

It's therapy Thursday I had a whole post I wanted to write about today but, then I got the text from my daughter she didn't make a call back audition for her Spring Musical at her school. My first thought was my hear breaks for her and my second thought was how do I make her feel better. I wanted to take away her pain and make her smile. Knowing what I know now I knew I needed to let her have the emotion let her embrace it and tell her I get it, I've been there. But as parents do we sit and cry with them? Do we tell them it's going to be ok and everything happens they way it's supposed to? Do we go into negativity and tell them all the reasons they picked other kids and its rigged that's why? To me I feel like none of them are the right answer because they're your kid and you would do anything to take away there pain. Let me give you a little back story about 5 years ago she was diagnosed with some heart conditions that we needed to monitor but nothing to serious. But of course that's never how it works out. She had ups and downs with this condition and then it seemed like a year ago we were in the clear just watching it. Then a year ago we went in for our normal check up and were told its time of surgery. It's been about 9 months since she had heart surgery and she's in the clear. But I think to myself this little girl has been through so much is it that much universe to give her a little break and let her have a part? But I know deep down it's not meant for her. She is my warrior and she has to realize how strong she really is. She can overcome heart surgery she can overcome anything.

I am a very spiritual person and I do believe everything happens for a reason. I have read so many books about making myself better but how do we make our kids better? We can't put our own traumas onto them. We can't sit with our emotions of how we didn't make the team. We have to meet them where they are and teach them how to grow from there. We have to give them the tools to be brave and never quit. We are there biggest teachers when they are growing up. We constantly have to watch our own words and thoughts and show how we can overcome advertises. I'm not saying to deny your emotions by all means we should be sitting with those on a daily to heal them so we don't project them onto our own kids.

I write this today not as a downer but as a place where I want others to feel like they're not alone. We all have our moments but how do we overcome our shit from childhood and help our kids to be better versions of themselves. I have read and listened to a lot of Brene Brown and Abraham Hicks and I have to say of all the teaching they both give especially about parenting is meet your kids where they are and then help them grow through the pain. I try and listen to some type of motivational speech or ted talk everyday to help me realize where I need to grow as an individual so I can help my kids to grow.

Today I picked my daughter up from school with a little cupcake hoping to ease some of the pain we talked the whole way home about her audition how kids weren't the nicest since they got call backs and she didn't. We both cried a little and then we said how can we move forward?! What is the universe teaching us? What can we do from here? And I assured her that she is loved and no one should ever make her feel less than and in my eyes she is my world and she can do anything.

Have you ever looked back at all of the struggles you've had and then thought wow I've gone through some shit but it's made me who I am and without it I wouldn't be where I am today? I have thought this sometimes on a daily. We are always being led to where we are supposed to but it still doesn't make it any easier. Today I hope this helps other Mom's and Parents out there alike Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we will ever have and we have to show up and be present and believe in our kids and show them they can be and do anything they put there minds too.

Love and Butterflies,

Vanessa